Purchase like a Pro

I totally get it, walking into a wine store (especially one of those warehouse-like situations) can be insanely intimidating - especially, if you aren't this guy...

But, if you happen to have wandered in for a specific purpose - like buying a gift or enough bottles to make your mother forget how much she hates your boyfriend's neck tattoo - here are a few quick tips to help you avoid a full-on mental breakdown in the Burgundy aisle:

1: Sweet Spot Spending –  If you’re buying wine that costs somewhere between $15-30, you dramatically reduce the chance that it is tragically undrinkable. While there are definitely phenomenal bottles you can find for less than 10 bucks, if you’re under serious time constraints, it’s just not worth the risk.

2: ASK, ASK, ASK for Help – I don’t care if you do have a penis and never ask for directions, if you don’t know EXACTLY what you're looking for, or how much wine to buy for the amount of people planning to show up thirsty to your shindig, you should absolutely be asking a wine store employee for help. They are, 9 times out of 10, super knowledgeable, taste basically every wine they carry, and are great at helping you discover new wines similar to the ones you already love.  

3: Quality before Quantity – This one should be obvious but, when it comes to determining the particular order of wines you'll actually be serving your guests, make sure to put out the most expensive/best quality wines as early in the night as possible. Why? How skilled are you at blindly detecting the quality of wine? Decent? How skilled are you 2 bottles deep? Exactly. At 2am, you could probably be serving your guests Welch’s and they wouldn’t notice.

4: Decant Yo’ Reds – As for the final tip, prior to serving wine at an event or a dinner party, do yourself a favor and decant anything red. This is for a few reasons: 1, You can’t argue with the fact that it looks classy as sh*t and 2, Unless you know a great deal about wine aging and the grape varietal you’ve purchased, it can be incredibly difficult to tell which wines actually demand time to “breathe.” And decanting can't really hurt a red (assuming you don’t leave it out overnight), so go for it. If you don’t have something that remotely looks like a decanter (even a clear flower vase will do), open the bottle at least an hour before you plan to serve it.