Here's how to Properly Carbo-Load before a Marathon (Assuming you're watching it from your couch)

Ever wondered how to pair your favorite adult grape juices with the world's greatest pizza? Then, read on. But, full disclosure: this is not a post meant to prove to Chicagoans, Californians, or the citizens of whatever other sub par pizza producing location that New York pizza is the best. It just is. This is not up for debate. Take a lesson from that Frozen chick and "Let it Go."

Margherita Pie: Motorino - 349 E 12th St., NY

When dealing with a Neapolitan OG like the Margherita, you should be sipping on something that matches its tomatoes' acidity, accents its basil's freshness, and complements the fluffiness of its crust. On a summer day, if you aren't drinking a fruity rosé with your Margherita, I'd recommend reevaluating your other life choices (just to be safe). Order a chilled bottle of Château Routas Rouvière Côteaux Varois en Provence ($14). In the winter months, however... reach for a gorgeously-balanced Chianti with smooth tannins and cherry notes like the Castellare di Castellina Chianti Classico ($20). This is a better pairing than T-Pain and autotune.   

The White Album: Speedy Romeo's - 376 Classon Ave, NY

White pies are probably the only kind served at RNC pizza parties these days, but, at least they're a tasty way to pretend color doesn't exist. In keeping with the whole "white-on-white" theme, add a glass, or 3, of Chablis. The Jean-Marc Brocard ‘Domaine Saint Claire’ ($19) brilliantly contrasts the pizza's deep, creamy garlic sauce. Assuming, however, that your pizza preference is less about race and more about an addiction to cheese, grab a floral, fruity Frappato. It's acid will perfectly cut the rich, saltiness of the pie's cheesy layers. If you're rollin' in a couple more Benjamins than usual, try the Occhipinti Frappato ($35) from Sicily - It's incredible and produced by a badass Italian chick, named Arianna, who's been making wine since she was 21.  

Soppressata Piccante Pie: Motorino - 349 E 12th St., NY

Planning to ignore the WHO's whole "Smoked and cured meats WILL DEFINITELY give you cancer" thing? Yeah, me too. You can pry that sausage out of my cold, dead hands. So, rather than swear off pork, just turn off CNN, Seamless your favorite meatlover's pie, and crack open a bottle of Nebbiolo. This grape's bright acid, bold tannins, and extreme juiciness make it the sexiest partner for the salt, smoke, and spice of your pizza. Try a Massolino Langhe Nebbiolo ($25) from Piedmont. 

Brussels Sprouts Pie: Motorino - 349 E 12th St., NY

For the last couple years, Brussels Sprouts have been the Beyoncé of the vegetable world - they're effortlessly fabulous, look great in basically anything, and everybody, at some point, has wanted a taste. That being said, since appearing on nearly every menu across the continental U.S., Brussels now seem more like the veggie equivalent of Taylor Swift (played out and pedestrian); nevertheless, in the hands of the right chef, these guys remain as delicious as ever. And, if you've never had them tossed in pancetta fat and baked into your pizza, get your ass to Motorino (East Village or Williamsburg) immediately - this pie will restore your faith in humanity. White wine addicts should inhale it along side a refreshing, dry Chenin Blanc like the one produced by Dry Creek Vineyards ($12). Red obsessives should grab a vibrant, fruity bottle of Barbera d'Asti like the Michele Chiarlo Barbera d'Asti Superiore 'le Orme' - for 12 bucks, you wont find a better pairing. 

Shroomtown Pie: Vezzo Thin Crust Pizza - 178 Lexington Ave, NY

Ordering this pie is the closest most of us will ever come to doing 'shrooms... and that's totally cool because it's a seriously better way to spend an afternoon than having a conversation with a polka-dotted hippo about Marcel Proust. Pair this pizza's 'shroomy goodness with a buttery, French Chardonnay like the Joseph Drouhin LaForêt ($13) or with a bottle that perfectly complements the meaty, earthiness of mushrooms like an Oregon Pinot Noir. King Estate produces an awesome bottle for $16.  

Greenpointer Pie: Paulie Gee's - 60 Greenpoint Ave, NY

Need to convince yourself that your pizza habit's actually nutritious? Go for a veggie pie. The good ones are nothing more than a piece of dough topped with a mound of arugula and shaved Parmesan anyway... you're basically eating a salad. And, what's the optimal pairing for a plate full of leaves? Sauvignon Blanc. Reach for a citrusy, green peppery bottle from New Zealand. IMO Cloudy Bay SB ($29.99) is the only move you should be making. 

Dinner by Delivery - Taco Edition

It's late, you're exhausted, and you've just collapsed in your doorway thanks to the coma-like state your boss, professor, mother, or ex has driven you into. You've hit that point where you can blink and wiggle your fingers, but not much else. Your only thought becomes, "How the hell am I going to feed myself?" And then, like a message from the heavens, it dawns on you - you're Seamless-ing, Grubhub-ing, or Postmate-ing this B. I don't care if the restaurant is 3 blocks away, you are clicking a few buttons on your phone and, in 40 minutes, a lovely person in a bike helmet is putting that food in your lap, before going on his merry way.

Now, what to order? Chinese, Mexican, and sushi tend to be your safest bets – they all travel decently well and you kind of know what to expect (i.e. you aren’t throwing your food out and heating up frozen Bagel Bites instead). But on days where nothing’s going quite right, a decent taco can make you step off the ledge.    

So, you've settled on tacos from that amazing hole-in-the-wall joint you tell no one about, but what to drink? Let's be honest, on days like this, you can barely muster the energy to wash your face, let alone craft a decent margarita. And, unless you stockpile enough quality tequila to drink on the rocks (and maybe you do, I don't know your life), you're inevitably going to need something to gulp down that pairs well with the feelings you're eating.

Beer is an option, sure. But, honestly, its probably not high enough in alcohol to take the edge off (unless you plan to have 6). So, it shouldn’t shock you, given the theme of this blog, that a great bottle of wine should be your go-to when it comes to delivery tacos.

Here’s a simple pairing guide for three very different taco options:

Fish Taco (fried or grilled): For a fish taco, reach for a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Its citrusy, pineappley notes will brighten up your taco and its high acidity perfectly complements a white, flakey fish. All you need now is a bikini and a beach. Try a Nobilo Sauvignon Blanc - they're sold nearly everywhere and retail for about 11 bucks

Beef Taco (e.g. carne asada, barbacoa, ground beef): To beef up your beef taco, pour yourself a massive glass of Argentinian Malbec. Its luscious, black fruitiness will enhance the meat's juiciness and its body can stand up to a grill’s smoky char. Experiment with a Layer Cake Malbec - it features bold and spicy chocolate notes and will run you about $15

Pork Taco (al pastor, carnitas, pulled-pork): A braised or spit-grilled, greasy pork taco calls for a dry, sparkling rosé. Because pork tacos tend to have sweet elements, especially those marinated with pineapple or grilled onions, a sparkling, Spanish Cava is an excellent option. The Cava’s fruity notes highlight the taco’s sweetness and its acidity cuts some of the pork’s fat. Try a Freixenet Cordon Rosado - it’s a great blend and retails for like 10 bucks