Albariño — Pairings

It's finally December 1st and, while some East Coasters are dreaming about snowflakes and sugar plums, those of us who actually remember last year's apocalyptic winter are left fantasizing about beaches and bikinis. So, if you're lucky enough to be fleeing our climate zone between now and March (or are simply planning a summer vacation), here's a guide to what your beach diet should look like.

...Because Diluted Mojitos and avocado salads just aren't going to cut it.

**Boiled Maine Lobster with Drawn Butter**

Who doesn't love a gorgeous hunk of steamy lobster - especially when you aren't murdering it yourself. But, if you need a little liquid courage before wrestling with those massive claws, grab a crisp, citrusy Albariño like the Don Olegario ($18). It adds the perfect hints of pineapple, lemon, and sea salt to complement the succulence of your sweet, buttery lobster meat

Lobster Roll + Dry Rosé = Douchey Deliciousness. Before lacing up that two-piece and heading to Lunch, Lobster Roll, buy a bottle of Bonny Doon's Vin Gris De Cigare ($18) or Robert Sinksey's Vin Gris of Pinot Noir ($28). Both rosés rock zesty, acidic finishes that refresh your palate after every mayo-laced bite. But, seriously, barring another Hamptons rosé shortage, steer clear of that watered-down garbage the Fat Jew's peddling. I don't care how #basic you may be... you're better than White Girl Rosé

Oysters like their wine the way John Mayer likes his women - white, pretty, and occasionally bubbly. They can hang with anything from a creamy Champagne to a dry, mineral-rich Chablis. Hell, if you're unsure, pull a Mayer and try a different glass per oyster... whatever floats your boat. Personally, I'm in heaven with a dozen juicy west coasters and a fruity, New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. A bottle of Oyster Bay is literally the perfect fit - it's a touch bubbly, packs an acidic punch, and mellows brininess

Fried food without sparkling wine is like Mickey Mouse without the ears - it's just unnatural. If you wanna bump your crunchy tentacles up to the next level, go with a dry, Spanish bottle like the Brut Cava Anna de Codorníu NV ($15). Its riveting acidity, subtle effervescence, and silky texture balance the breading's saltiness and enhance the tenderness of the calamari itself. Cava and fried squid click so well, they should basically be out buying each other friendship bracelets

Assuming Elite Daily isn't your sole "news" provider, you've probably heard (and ignored) that you should be avoiding tuna the way you do those sidewalk petitioners. Most tuna - particularly those big guys (i.e. Bluefin and Yellowfin) - have been declared ridiculously unsustainable. And, even if the whole "destruction of the ecosystem" thing doesn't turn you off, much of our tuna supply is riddled with toxic levels of mercury. But, you know, if you've already consumed enough Alzheimer's-inducing mercury to render the Earth's impending implosion irrelevant... live dangerously and order a lil Ahi once in a while. For tacos dotted with spicy mayo and/or jalapeños, balance their heat and freshness with an off-dry Riesling like the Monchhof Urzig Wurzgarten ($16) from Mosel.

Let’s be real, we all have that friend (or in my case, my mother), who, without fail, orders the wrong item on the menu. Like every miserable time. The dish, in most cases, isn’t even cooked improperly; it’s more that your pathologically picky eater convinces herself that she is cultured enough to be “culinarily” adventurous… SPOILER ALERT: She’s not. So, what’s the secret to maintaining your dining relationship with this fussy-ass eater? Tapas.

With tapas (Spanish small plates), seafood, beef, pork, cheese, veggies – it doesn’t matter – your options are virtually limitless. And the central rationale as to why these Spanish goodies should be the only feasting option for you and your finicky friend? Tiny portions. Each serving is generally somewhere between 3 to 4 pieces, maximum. That’s it. That’s all you get. UNLESS… you actually happen to LOVE it! Then, go crazy – order ‘till you start to feel your jeans tear into your abdomen. BUT, if you hate the dish, it ain’t no thang. It’s basically finished anyway. Push the plate aside and order whatever jamón-wrapped, fried cheese item you’ve been eying for the last 20 minutes. It’s the most beautifully noncommittal way to enjoy a meal. And, BONUS: the portion sizes are so small that the judgmental “you should go to the gym” inner monologue you may or may not have wont even be activated.

Considering the calories you're saving on small plates, you should be drinking some combination of the following:

*EXPERT TIP: Just like the food, the wine should feel non-committal as well. Go for glasses rather than bottles here so that you can explore what truly makes you happy.

Sangria: Most quality tapas places offer homemade Sangria in any (or all) of the elixir’s three styles: Red (Tinta), White, and Sparking (Cava). If they do, and you’ve heard their Sangria is something to write home about – GO NUTS. I have literally no rules here. To work up an appetite, I like to have a pitcher of the restaurant’s best version before the tapas ordering even begins. But that’s just me. Try one, all three, or intersperse a pitcher or two throughout your meal. Just keep in mind you’re definitely Ubering home.

Cava: As the Spanish answer to Champagne, Cava is always a winner. It’s also majorly economical – you can score a fabulous bottle of Cava for like $12.99 retail. Pair your nutty, citrusy bubbly with Pan con tomate, fried goat cheese croquets, or seared octopus.

White: Enjoy Galicia’s most badass export – the citrusy, peachy, super refreshing Albariño – with one of the country’s most ubiquitous tapas: Gambas al Ajillo (shrimp in sizzling garlic). But, honestly, I’ll pair a good Albariño with nearly anything. I'm talking from pancakes to sushi – they’re incredible.

Red: When scarfing down a bowl of Albondigas (Spanish meatballs), grilled Chorizo, or expertly cooked skirt steak, reach for a bottle from Spain’s red wine powerhouse: Rioja. Aged for at least 3 years, a Rioja Reserva, with its earthy, complex, mushroomy profile is an awesome, meat-friendly wine.

Bottles, Beaches, and Bivalves

Tapas: The Commitment-Phobe's Meal Made in Heaven